As artists and creators, there is a terrifying moment we all face. It’s that split second after the screen goes black, the music stops, or the paper flower is complete. In that moment, we hold our breath, waiting for the reaction. We are waiting for the "Wow."
I experienced a situation recently that brought this dynamic into sharp focus. A close creative partner of mine hosted a private screening of her latest video projects. Work she had poured her soul into. She invited me and another friend. We watched, the lights came up, and then… silence.
The mutual friend didn’t say it was bad. He didn’t say it was good. He simply didn't say anything.
Later that evening, the fallout began. My phone lit up with texts and voicemails. The artist was devastated. To her, that silence was a screaming insult. She felt her hard work had been dismissed. When I tried to suggest that she might be projecting her own insecurities onto his silence, the situation spiraled. Past grievances were dug up, and I received a long email trying to justify the hurt, implying I should pick a side.
It was painful to watch someone I care about suffer so much over something that hadn't actually happened. But it was also a profound learning moment. It reminded me of a Picasso quote, “The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.” I have this hanging in my closet so I don’t forget the difference between art as giving and art as getting, because I won’t lie, I think every flower I make is a masterpiece! And the truth is, it IS a masterpiece to ME.
The biggest trap an artist can fall into is the Addiction to Public Opinion.
When we create something and share it, we have to ask ourselves a brutal question: Am I sharing this because I want to GIVE something to the world, or because I want to GET endorsement?
In my friend's case, the pain didn't come from the quality of her work; it came from her expectations. She needed the audience to "perform perfect" to applaud and validate her existence. When that didn't happen, she felt empty. This is the trap of emotional dependency. When we rely on others to confirm that "I am good" or "I am talented," we turn ourselves into beggars rather than masters.
So, how should we handle it when our work is met with a neutral response or silence?
The ideal approach is to view the artwork like a flower in a garden. A flower blooms because of an internal, upward flow of energy. It doesn't bloom for the applause. If a passerby says, "What a beautiful flower," the flower remains the same. If a passerby says, "What a waste of space," the flower remains the same. And if the passerby walks past in silence? The flower still possesses its natural fragrance and internal harmony.
When my friend’s audience remained silent, the "master’s interpretation" would have been to see that silence as an impersonal fact. It was simply a reality of the moment, irrelevant to the artist’s inner state.
Instead, the ego took over. The ego interpreted silence as an attack. It forced a narrative ("He hates it," "He is insulting me") onto a neutral event. As artists, if we feel inner turmoil because of a lack of response, it is proof that we are still trying to force the external world to match our inner preference.
The situation escalated when the artist lashed out at me for not validating her anger. This is what happens when we lack "emotional fitness." We catch an emotional infection and try to spread it to others to feel better.
To my fellow artists: You have a choice. You can live as a slave to public opinion, constantly changing your dress, your art, and your mood based on what others say (or don’t say). Or, you can strive for Impersonal Expression. You don’t send the angry email. You don't spiral into victimhood. You recognize that your happiness and your worth are independent of the audience.
Create because it is a natural expression of the "infinite hoards of wisdom within." Create because the joy is in the service of doing it.
If they clap, say thank you. If they stay silent, say thank you. Your work is already complete. Don’t let the silence of others drown out the music you were born to make.
Remember, stay rooted in joy!
