I recently had the privilege to go to Florida to prepare my in-laws' home for sale. They relocated due to health reasons nearly a year ago, locking up their southern oasis and returning to Long Island to reside in an assisted living facility. My husband and I took a very short trip—just 2.5 days—and cleaned it out.
Just walking inside made me tremendously sad to see this once happy home now dark and deserted. We arrived late Tuesday night and made a plan that would allow us to cover nearly three-quarters of the home by our departure date of late Friday night. We then went to bed and rested up.
Wednesday morning we woke up on a mission. We got some food, packing materials, and garbage bags, and by 9 AM were already going through the kitchen and dining room. We divided items into three categories—garbage, Goodwill, and keep—and this is where we quickly realized the 50/40/10 rule.
We kept the car in the driveway and used the garage to organize our piles, and it was very interesting to see it happen before our eyes. 50% of everything in the house went into the garbage pile. I know that sounds like a lot, but think about it: every junk drawer, every receipt, used candle, reading glasses, notebooks—anything that was used and not worth paying for shipping up north was considered garbage.
We had a running joke about a couple of items we came across. My in-laws had an endless supply of headphones—any and all kinds ranging from an old Bose headset to EarPods, earbuds, and standard over-the-head earphones. We must have come across 20 of them. Then there were the magnifying glasses; we must have found them in every drawer in every room. Each time we found one of these two items, we yelled it out and laughed. Other common items we found included Easter Seals (never knew of such a thing), date books, return address labels, birthday candles, used pens, used Tupperware, and manuals for products that weren't there anymore. We accumulate things. I know I always have this thought of "I might need it someday," and I stick it in a drawer. So yes, when it comes down to it, 50% went to garbage.
Then there was the Goodwill. They loved us. As mentioned, we were prepping the home for sale, and all the home decor had to come down. Beautiful pieces of furniture that I would have stuck in my trunk if I lived closer—five car loads of their home went to the local Goodwill so others would be able to buy it all over again. It was painful and represented 40% of their possessions. But when you come down to it, all the "stuff" we purchase to make our homes cozy, comfortable, and attractive costs a lot of money and, in the end, doesn't go with us. I mentally calculated the value each time we dropped off a load because I knew the Goodwill was going to clean up. If it wasn't so far away, we would have been able to give much of the items to family or friends, but this wasn't the case.
The final group we put together was the "Keep" boxes. I think all in all, we had a total of three boxes with keepsakes as well as an additional three boxes with family china. Only 10% of the items we went through in the house fell into this category. And if you were curious what was in the three keep boxes, they were filled with the important stuff: photos, greeting cards received over the years, wedding invitations and thank you cards, jewelry, discovered cash, letters, some books, some documents, a couple of mugs, a few pieces of artwork, and souvenirs from trips around the world. Handmade quilts. Three boxes filled with amazing memories, a tremendous amount of love, and past adventures.
Dividing the home into these piles took all three days and nights. We meticulously went through every piece of paper, shredding old documents if necessary, constantly aware that we were making important decisions with every item we touched. We did not take this job for granted whatsoever. We fell into bed each night, exhausted both emotionally and physically.
There was such a sadness and regret about having to sell this family home. We had a constant undertone conversation about ways we could possibly save the house and still afford the care his parents required. And physically, well, we aren't spring chickens either, so lugging out huge contractor-size garbage bags and pieces of furniture took its toll on our backs, necks, and shoulders.
The last day there we spent shipping four boxes home and cleaning up the house. There were some items, mostly family photos, that we thought his parents would appreciate now, so we shipped them up north. There were also some items that my husband wasn't ready to part with that would become part of our home.
This was a trip I will not forget for many reasons. First, we felt honored to have this task and found even more love for Michael's parents in the things that they saved. We found photos printed out from Facebook because his Dad didn't always know how to navigate back to a post to show his wife, so he would print it out for her. And all of the crafts in his mom's craft closet that were started and not able to be finished before her sight was lost were amazing to see. Every craft she made was with someone in mind, a quilt for her or a needlepoint for him. Everything created was from the heart. It was a true growing experience and had us talking about our own possessions and what people will someday face when we are no longer here. I guess the beautiful part of this experience was that Michael's parents are still with us, and we were able to check with them about what was important to them and also laugh about the large collection of headphones and magnifying glasses.
What we both walked away with was an appreciation of what is garbage and what is stuff compared to what is really important: family, love, adventure. The truth is, when it comes down to it, only 10% of the stuff in our homes really means something to us. Open a drawer in your house—how much of it, if you weren't here anymore, would really be kept? I don't say this to be a downer but rather to encourage us to stop wasting money on silly things and remember what is really important in life!
Remember, stay aware and stay rooted in joy.
