Are You Trying Too Hard?

We've all been there. You feel that deep ache for something more. Maybe it's a new home in a city that feels right. Or a relationship that feels like coming home. Or a career change that promises real happiness.

You can see it. You can feel it. You can almost taste it. And with that vision comes a strong urge to do something. You want to force the pieces into place. You feel stuck and impatient. You're ready to do it the hard way because waiting feels impossible.

I quit my job last year. And I use that word on purpose. It was just a job, not something I loved. Since then, I've wanted my business, JoyBloomsNJ, to be a huge success. I started the summer working nonstop. I was trying to make this happen and make that happen. This feeling of wanting something so badly it hurts is something we all understand. We're taught to chase our dreams. To hustle. To make things happen.

But what if there's a better way? What if the best way to get what we want isn't by forcing it? What if it's about matching the feeling of what we want? What if the most powerful work happens on the inside, before we take any action in the outside world?

What if feeling "not ready" is actually an important part of getting there?

Let's be clear about something. The fear you feel when your big dream hasn't come true isn't a flaw. You might think, "I'm scared of making a mistake," or "Maybe I'm just not ready for this." Here's what's important. This feeling isn't a personal failure. It's not a sign that you should give up. Instead, it's a clear sign that your current feelings don't match up with your desire yet.

Understanding this gap is powerful. There's no shame in it. In fact, it shows you're aware of yourself. If what you wanted was already here, you would be ready for it. The fear just tells you that you still have some inner work to do.

When I feel fear, I'm really saying, "I don't feel ready for what I want." Everyone should understand this. You're not ready for what you want if it hasn't shown up yet.

We often focus on the physical details of our dreams. I keep "wanting" JoyBloomsNJ to be a successful business that replaces the income I left with the hopes of making much more. But when I dig deeper, that isn't what I truly want. Deep down, what I'm really after is what those things would feel like. They feel safe, secure, peaceful, creative, connected to others, helpful, loving, content. They feel like love and joy. They feel like me. These feelings feel honest and real, they feel perfect, they feel electric, they feel thrilling.

This is important. We mix up the physical "things" we want (the house, the job, the location) with the feelings we're really chasing. Even worse, we get stuck watching our current situation. When I focus on "not enough sales" or "fear about money," I'm using my present situation to explain why I want a better future. But here's the problem. Constantly watching what we don't want actually stops the future we do want from coming. Read that again.   Constantly watching what we don't want actually stops the future we do want from coming. 

So how do you fix this without getting trapped watching what's wrong? The most powerful thing to do is to "go general." This means you shift your focus on purpose. You stop thinking about the specific details of your desire. You stop picturing the house, the exact job title, or the perfect partner. Instead, you focus on the pure feeling of what you want.

Think about the feeling you're after, not the outside stuff. Focus on ease. Think about things feeling comfortable, secure, certain, and real. Focus on what feels true, honest, and passionate. Focus on what feels like home. This state feels open, fun, delicious, and alive. When you focus on these general emotional words, you start to line up with the heart of your desire.

This works so well because it gets you ready without bringing up the doubt and resistance tied to specific details that haven't happened yet. You skip the unnecessary struggle. You capture the emotional feeling of what you're looking for. You get the feeling first. And that's the whole point.

Once you've done the emotional work of "going general," something magical starts to happen. The universe begins bringing you proof of your new state. It’s like the grid is filling in. You'll notice coincidences. You'll get unexpected phone calls. You'll see signs that things are lining up. Your only job is to notice these signs and appreciate them. This makes your new emotional state even stronger.

The biggest mistake we make is trying to fill in our own grid because of fear and impatience. We choose to do it the hard way instead of the easy way. My work with JoyBloomsNJ shouldn't feel like a chore. It shouldn't be scary and fearful. Action that comes from fear feels like a frantic push.

The right time for action is clear. You won't need a list of pros and cons. It won't feel like a scary leap. It will feel easy, joyful, and certain. It's a deep knowing that washes over you and leaves no room for doubt.

When you wake up one morning and know that nothing and no one could keep you from doing exactly that, that's the grid filling in.

The journey toward our biggest dreams is less about forcing things and more about joyful, purposeful being. It's about understanding that our emotional state is the most powerful creative tool we have. The goal is to make the pleasure of the inner work just as important as the pleasure of finally having what we want. The journey isn't a chore you have to get through. It is the source of joy itself.

Instead of trying to control specifics, we can choose to create the feelings we want. When we shift from chasing the outcome to living the emotion, we let the universe handle the details. It does this with a precision we could never create on our own. We move from anxious striving to ease, trust, and inspired flow.

What is one dream you could "go general" on today? Focus only on how you want it to feel.

Stay aware. Stay rooted in joy.